Stronger Side by Side
Let’s start this out with a statement everyone can agree with: Life can be tough. We’ve all had moments (probably many moments) when something happens and you’re just like, “Why God?” One of the main causes of these questions, especially as a high schooler, but also in every stage of life, is friendships. God gave us the blessing of community and friendship. Like most things in life, there are highs and lows to this. Like everything in life, however, God has a reason!
Let's start with the highs! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says it perfectly: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion…” This world is full of sin, and sometimes, the times it’s hardest to deal with are when it’s in places you wouldn’t expect or close to you. I remember a time when I had something like this happen, and it felt weird, and to be honest, I just kept these feelings and thoughts to myself. Later that day, a close friend of mine texted me and shared her feelings, and they were very similar to mine. We each shared our thoughts and encouragement about how we are surrounded by sin and others who don’t believe or stand by the same things as us, and yeah, it’s really hard. She asked if I ever felt like others treated us differently because of our faith, and I think this is something every Christian goes through. The amazing part of this, though, was that I didn’t have to go through it alone, and neither did she. We held each other up and accountable, which is what the second half of these verses is saying. Another side of this is the mentoring side of it. By mentoring, I mean many different things. Of course, you have the Sunday school and small group aspects, where knowledgeable adults lead you, and that is great! The part that I want to focus on is more from a peer standpoint. I think it’s amazing when I see a person sharing their faith with others or giving verses, or lifting others up through Christ. In Proverbs 27:17, it says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” When you minister to others or even simply share a verse you think a friend could use, in a way you are “sharpening” them. Even to write this blog, I reached out to some close friends for verses, input, etc! Just like the first verse says, “two are better than one” because we can lift each other up and pick each other up when we fall. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 puts it simply what we are to do in friendship: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
Now for the lows. I believe that one of the hardest parts of friendships is forgiving. Now, it is easy to simply say, “Yeah, I forgive you, it’s okay.” The struggle comes in truly forgiving them in your heart. The thing is, you can’t tell someone you forgive them and then go and immediately talk about it to your friend like “I can’t believe she just did that” or “he’s so annoying.” Whenever you are in a situation like this, think of Colossians 3:13: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” If you needed a “why,” there it is. We forgive because God first forgave us. And I am not downgrading your situations or saying “just forgive, it’s not that hard,” because it is hard. I had a time where I had a person in my life who did a few things that were hard for me to let go of. They said things that hurt or did actions that made me upset. Of course, when I saw them, I would act like everything was fine, but then I would think about it and talk about it afterward to others, which I feel like we are all guilty of. I began to feel convicted one day after this person had said some things that hurt me, and I was left feeling bitter. As I thought about it, I realized that not forgiving them or letting it go was just as bad as them saying the rude comments. Our sinful nature often leads us to feel like we’re the victim and blinds us from seeing our own faults in these situations. For example, I was blinded by this person's actions to the point that I didn’t really realize I was being almost as bad because the Bible says “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty” in Job 6:14. Later that day, after I’d thought about this, I went to Wednesday night church, and you’ll never guess what the lesson was about! Forgiving others and not repaying evil with evil. I was like, “Wow God, you really got me there.” A specific verse the pastor mentioned was
1 Peter 3:9, "Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing." That pretty much sums up what the Lord calls us to do. After this night, I feel like I have been more conscious of my reactions and forgiveness in general. Forgiveness is definitely one of the hardest parts of our relationship with Christ, but it is such an important aspect of it.
So, even through its hardships, friendship is one of the biggest gifts the Lord has given us. He doesn’t want us to go through life alone, and even says in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” After reading all this, consider asking yourself these questions and seeing your honest answer:
“Are those who I surround myself with lifting me up towards Christ and within my faith?”
Am I bringing others closer to the Lord?
Am I forgiving others as He forgave me in the ultimate sacrifice? Because if Jesus can blamelessly die on the cross and take on every sin of the world, including each and every one of mine, and since I’m created in God’s image and am called to act like Him, why shouldn’t I forgive this person?
If you find that you are answering these questions with answers that might make you go “oh…”, do not worry, because you are not alone. Answering these questions and being honest with yourself can be hard. I know this because I have been in that exact situation, and here’s what I believe: answering these honestly can lead you to see what you need to work on and that you truly need God’s help because the truth is we are called to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6). We need God in all that we do, and the good news is He will always be there for you, no matter what.
Ellie Ness